Ever experienced studying so hard that every fact, every equation, every specimen on your book just sinks into your brain and enslaves you and rips your mind into shreds and all that you want to do is to chop your head open to replace your shrivelled brain cells? It's always been that way for me, whether I'm awake or not. And that's a really pathetic part, because my studies play with me, even in my dreams.
Last semester, in one of the the nights when I was reviewing for a Plant Anatomy exam, I woke up scared and trembling...because I was being chased by a group who happened to be Aristolochians - people (or plants?) whose appearance is blatantly menacing. They were warriors wearing armored suits, concealing their thick hairy integuments. I even saw a red substance flowing from one the armors. But my point is: there are really no Aristolochians! There are no Aristolochians from a country named Aristolochia! My dream just made it up for me. Aristolochia, in fact, is just a harmless little plant whose "anomalous growth" we were observing in the lab. My dream invented the scare!
On another night, I woke up seeing glowing writings on our ceiling. Written in a glowing hot pink ink was the royal chemistry equation: the Henderson-Hachelbach (whatever the spelling is) equation. But when I rolled my eyes a second time, the writings were gone.
And just two nights ago, when I was sleeping in the hospital where my brother was, another bizarre dream: I was actually studying in a certain Balanoglossoid University! Ack! What a name! Again, there is no university named as such! Balanoglossoid is but a prechordate animal, which I've read in my Comparative Anatomy book.
These things are really messing up my peaceful dreams, I swear.
Someday I'm putting up a day care center, and so as to attract the kids, I'm building a colorful place like this:
A gate made of giant colored pencils!
Thanks Marlies for the idea!
And then of course inside there would be a reading corner, a drawing corner, a sleeping corner, an eating corner, a dressing corner, a puppet show corner, a playing corner, an artwork display corner, a parents' corner, a drivers' and yayas' corner, etc. I want to have a corner meant for a particular purpose. I wonder how many walls my day care center would have!
Okay, just a quick entry before this internet connection terminates. Contrary to my previous post, I am back to school again...studying my physics, zoology, and biochemistry. My dad figured that I'd be more secure if I continue the semester, so he pushed me to go back to school and face the doom of the future. Only this time, I'm having a 13-unit load instead of the tough 19 units. I didn't take plant taxo, physics lab, and p.e. to keep me sane while I'm dealing with my out-of-school plans.
But yikes! My first two days of school were horrible! I could not connect with the lectures being flashed on the walls. I found myself daydreaming on my seat instead of copying the notes in my notebook. In my Zoo lab, I kept on floating from one table to another without really knowing what to start with. It felt like that world was not MY world...
What is happening to me?
Welcome to Day One of my toxic-free life.
In the next five months, while most people are absorbed in grueling university endeavors, I will be working/studying in a psychiatric hospital ward and in a kiddie foundation. Specifically, the AFP Medical Center and the Kythe Foundation. Well, not because my family's running out of money to send me to school, and definitely not because I got kicked-out from my course. But I'm doing this because I needed the clinical exposure and the work experience to add to my resume - for my approaching employment in 2005, and other matters, which I'd rather reveal as the months pass by.
Of course I'd still finish college. I just needed to interrupt my education for a while to give way to something more urgent.
Sigh. I feel so grown-up for planning my future this way!
The Negative Effects
For every decision taken, there are risks involved. And some of them could really turn out to be really disapproving. My temporary "withdrawal" from UP has caused me to formulate these realistic yet negative outcomes:
1. Because of sufficient sleep and less stress, I could become fatter.
2. Because my brain will take a vacation from scientific thinking, I could become dumb.
3. Because there will be no regular allowance, I couldn't leave the house for reasons other than work.
4. Because I will not be seeing my friends often, they might forget me forever.
5. Because I will be less busy, my parents might send me to impossible errands more often.
6. Because there would be no 7:00am class, I might become too lazy to wake up each morning.
7. Because I will be missing 8 subjects (4 lectures and 4 labs), I might not be able to graduate on time.
It worries me whenever I review this list. It even makes me wonder whether I made the correct decision or not. But well, I'm already here. I already made the decision. The only thing left to do now, to counter the negative thoughts which constantly run through my head, is to keep repeating these words to myself:
And then hopefully, my anxiety would stop troubling me.
Last Wednesday was my second "public exposure" since I started my Synchro "career" in October 2003. Based on the feedback, the spectators were thrilled. And the advertising agency which hired us was so impressed that they promised to contact us again for future projects.
Unfortunately though, the camera that I brought malfunctioned early, so my friend was not able to take pictures of the actual performance. W
hat I have now are the only two pictures (uneven in size, sorry!) which my camera was able to capture. Atleast you'll have an idea of how entertaining we looked like.
Logically, we used waterproof make-up and waterproof hair-firming chemicals for the show. And becuase we were so scared that our head-dresses would fall off, we secured them with tons of hair pins on our heads. True enough, we made our final bow without ruining our do's, however, it took me days to bring my hair and my face back to its normal condition.
As for the swimsuits, we had them custom-made by a designer. Each was worth a couple of thousands, but Panasonic sponsored us, so we didn't pay single peso.
And yeah, we were also given a talent fee!
Goodbye Pussy Cat!
No Taxo. No Physics. No Biochem. And most of all...no Zoo,all because I won't be enrolling this semester at CAS. After much thinking and risk-calculation, I've decided to go LOA to accomplish what I call a "greater and mysterious task".
When I would be coming back to UP, I am not yet sure. It might not even happen. But whatever the case would be, I shall be forever grateful for everything that has happened to me during the entire school year and a half.
I'll post the pictures from the Viera show and the Halloween party real soon.
