April 11, 2005
And Another Death
Early yesterday morning while taking a shower, I was thinking about the people who have recently passed away. It's still a shock that they - Sherly's mom, Tito Lito, Tito Boy's dad, Kuya Kim, Ate Sarah's baby, and the Pope - all died one right after the other, within the first quarter of the year.
I could have never been any gloomier until my mom, as I stepped out from the washroom, told me that another person just died too. Sgt. Tan, our driver for a few months, had perished in Samar after being ambushed by the merciless and blatant group that is the NPA.
This reminds me of my uncle who suffered the same fate in 1985. I wasn't born then yet, but I remember the gory details of his death through my relatives' narrations. His eyeballs were taken away, his body massacred. The NPAs left him lifeless, without even a hint of charity or compassion. With those stories, I began to develop a hatred for the NPAs. Now that Sgt. Tan is dead, I'm starting to hate them more.
Ironic, isn't it? Instead of the painful acceptance that comes with the death of a loved-one, it was my anger and cry for vengeance that started to cloud over. Yet I realize, there's nothing physical that I could do in return. And even if I had the power to fight back, God would never be happy about it.
I once read from Gracia Burnham's book the reason why some Muslims are seeking retribution. They're trying to get justice for everything bad that has happened to them - especially for the AFP's atrocities against Islam. Their logic is simple. But when you reflect deeply on it, you realize that it isn't right. You don't win justice by killing more people. They are, sad to say, just complicating the entire scenario. Is that something which they could not understand?
The answer to when all the perils in the South would end, I could only guess. What I'm sure for now is that while the NPAs (and the Abu Sayyafs) continue seeking their so-called "justice" in the wrong way, more soldiers will be killed. Fatherless children will soon be statistics and - who knows, I might even be one of them.
The Busiest Days of My Life So Far
In MTC Academy (where I study Medical Transcription), my classmates are either doctors, nurses, pharmacists, medical technologists, or physical therapists. My professors are all doctors. Our lectures cover Oncology, Cardiology, Surgical Procedures, IT, etc., which, on a normal basis, are studied for 6 months. But since I chose the HyperTrack schedule, I will be breezing through those in 2 months!
More or less, do you get a picture of how my life is right now?
Why All These?
People are noticing my sudden "busy-ness", "groggy-ness", and rush. The reason behind everything: we're migrating to California soon. So while I have 2-3 months left before finally leaving my homeland, I have all these preparations which include:
1. studying medical transcription (to earn while studying)
2. studying the basics of haircutting (so that we need not spend $10 for a haircut)
3. driving (no more jeepneys/tricycles there)
4. selling my clothes, books, lab paraphernalia, etc. (i couldn't bring them all)
5. cooking (of course!)
6. communicating effectively (i need it badly)
7. reaching the people who i haven't spoken to/seen for a long time
8. searching the internet for scholarships
9. thinking of what things to toss into my moving-out box
Well? I guess this entry leaves you enough material to read until my next blogging session. Until then!
April 2, 2005
Vacation?!
I thought I'd be having the entire summer for myself. I thought I'd be free from the bondage of studying for two whole months. I thought I could now hit the beach or learn something un-academic. Unfortunately, I thought wrongly. In a few days, my life will be in a hurly-burly again because I'll be studying Medical Transcription, which will run 12nn-9pm, from Monday to Friday.
And the pressure on me (and on my sister too) is even greater. We have to prove to the academy's administration that we deserve to be in that program - a class composed entirely of medical and allied medical course graduates. Given the little medical background that I have, I'm in for a lot of supplementary reading for sure. How's that for summer?
The perks of the program? There are a lot, I have to say. So even if it robs me of two months of rest, I'm not fussing much about it. One thing: after completion of the program, I already have a career, with a starting salary of PhP8,000/month. Second: medical transcriptionists need not work in the office - they could earn at home, provided they meet deadlines and have internet connection. Third: there are no licensure exams whatsoever. Fourth: there is no age limit for transcriptionists...you could go on transcribing for the rest of your life - no forced retirement as long as you're competent! Fifth: the job opportunities will never regress! For as long as patients (in the US particularly) continue consulting physicians, transcriptionists will always have work to do. Sixth: Transcriptionists work with computers, something which I enjoy doing as well.
If It's God's Will
The Holy Father, according to the news, is dying. So is my uncle who was in a car wreckage a few days ago. And just last month, three other people who are close to me (or somewhat close to me) died. It depresses me to no end that those people are gone forever...and that sooner or later, the Holy Father and my uncle will follow too. But as my mom says, if it's God's will, then let it be.
If there is one thing that surfaces when death is in the picture, I should say it's my fear. I know, we've been told only to be afraid of God and not of death. But no matter how many times things are explained to me, I still fear, even for my own death - because of the pain of leaving the loved ones behind. "Moving on" is something which I've never really learned to master, reason why I admire people who move forward as if nothing tragic has happened to them.
Now that the Holy Father and my uncle are still both fighting for dear life, I could only pray as much. And in this prayer, i'm including that I and the others who share the same fear be given the strength to accept everything in God's beautiful plan.
